How we are naturally given exposure therapy in order to heal
I write this today from a personal experience where I find myself getting stronger in the face of chaos. A core wound I carry is abandonment from being adopted as an infant and when people leave me, especially those closest to me, it strikes a very deep cord in me.
It hurts, not just a little, but a lot.
But not as much today.
Today I have found myself less affected by the chaos of yelling and then abandonment. I realize that if I engage in it, I am swayed. On the other hand, if I detach from the external aspects of it and allow all to be as it is, I am stronger.
I have learned how important it is to accept all, just as it is. I have learned the importance of developing deep roots, not simply surface roots. Deep roots keep me grounded and centered in the now and surface roots cause me to lose my center. My center is what I have control of, nothing else. I cannot control what another’s behavior is, but I can control mine.
When I resist, life as it is, whatever is happening, it persists. The wounds I carry deep within, buried in the subconscious rise to the surface over and over and over again until I am willing to see them and feel them.
I resist feeling the pain because I don’t want to hurt. That is natural to my DNA and survival, as it is for all of us. It has been that way for as long as we know.
But it’s different now.
Collectively we are evolving into a new level of our humanness and we are living in the time where all prior emotional wounds want to and need to be healed.
So the wounds rise to the surface, over and over again until we are willing to face them.
We must face our inner demons and perceived imperfections because once we do, they release their hold over us and can finally be healed.
Here’s what to do:
I developed a technique called from SOS to BE HERE.
2. Observe from another location (step away and go outside, to another room or for a walk)
3. Shake it off
5. Experience: Feel it in your body. Where is it in your body? Does it have a weight, texture, color or dimension?
6. Hear what your body is telling you. Listen with deeper awareness.
7. Exist here and now, in the present moment.
8. Release: Accept and allow it to be there without judgment
9. Expand your awareness by asking, “What story am I telling myself about this situation and what can I learn or change within myself?”
Next time you feel you lost your center, try the technique and see if it helps your let go at deeper and deeper levels.